A lot of times, the scenes are not included in the story because it just does not work. And I've learnt in a Fiction Writing workshop that I've attended some years ago that I should not force scenes into the story just because I took a long time to come up with it and I didn't want to waste it. Other times, you would have scenes that you did not publish because you may have stereotypically written it on a diner napkin and have plain forgotten about it till it was too late.
In today's blog post, I am referring to the latter.
Of course, I wasn't writing my scenes and ideas on a diner napkin. I just typed them in my evernote and I forgot all about it. Completely. Until I chanced upon it just now while I was decluttering my evernote things.
So since Days of Exile is published and done, I guess I'll post it here instead :)
So this is meant for Chapter 55 of my fanfiction "Days of Exile", when Meia was explaining to Randy and Heidi her whole reconciliation with her job as a Turk. Once again, much like the previous unpublished post, I'll post what I've written verbatim, so forgive the lack of perfect grammar/spelling. Had to type fast before the plot bunny runs away, you know?
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Meia looked at Randy. "During the time I was captured by Hojo, I have been thinking of a lot of things. Out there everyone has various impressions of the Turks, most of which are less than pleasant. When I was a child, I truly beleived that everyone had a good side in them. I know that while I was still a Turk, I saw that these people are more than just killing machines. They had a sense of humour, they were loyal to their cause (albeit an unethical one), they had feelings.
Seeing this more human side of them, im.inclined to believe that the people outside shinra are too narrow minded and unforgiving.
How could it, then, that we did all these terrible things, and try to be human at the same time? Why is it that being a Turk essentially meant we throw away our lives up to this point and live like a different person?
I could never come to terms with this. But the more I see, the more I have to accept the undeniable truth. The Turks did wrong things, for various personal reasons. They may not like it, some may like it, but the truth of the matter is as solid as a rock-" Meia stopped to take a breath, and remebered what Cassie said. "We had a choice to stand for what we believed in, and all of us had no qualms putting down our morals to get the job done. That, is what make us Turks not excusable for our doings.
However, I still reiterate that
We cannot expect ppl to like us or forgive us. We can never expect it. Even if we singlehandedly destroyed Meteor or cure Geostigma now, we wont be treated like heroes. The only thing we can do now is to live properly now. If we want respect from people around us, we will work for it.
The best thing I can do is to do what i think is right. Perhaps find someone who share the same passion as me.
Randy thereafter says a few things. Then he leaves and Meia didnt hear from him wver again. (Well, maybe not for a long while. The idea is that randy will not forgive the turks so easily anyway.)
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There you have it :)
In the end, this scene was not published because I simply forgot all about it. I rewrote the whole chapter as you have already read in the published, actual Chapter 55. However, the main idea is the same and honestly? I like what I've written in this unpublished version, but it's unrealistic that Meia would go on and on while Randy and Heidi just kept quiet without. a. single. comment.
Besides, I love the ending of Chapter 55 and I would not do a single thing to change that :)
Anyway, the story is long completed and it's time to move on. I'll admit, I still enjoy reading Days of Exile and I hope to find more unpublished stuff lying around here and there in my laptop.
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